


And last night you were in my room

by megaradoll



Category: HOTSHOT (Band), Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Fluff, M/M, Other tags to be added, because why not both, mentions of other trainees, sweetheart!Minhyun bc that's who he is ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-12
Updated: 2017-09-25
Packaged: 2018-12-26 23:39:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12069327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/megaradoll/pseuds/megaradoll
Summary: “Why don’t you help me?”“I’m too biased towards your work” he answered simply and teasingly nudged the older as he tried to hug him as an answer. The real reason was purely the fact that Sungwoon also couldn’t choreograph for shit, but well. That was smooth and cheesy and he liked being both.





	1. Come over and start up a conversation with just me

**Author's Note:**

> So I started writing this as a quick oneshot from Taehyun's POV and then this happened. After rewatching PD101 (why did I??) A&A boys caught my attention and I got into Hotshot a bit and then got sad about them parting ways and then paid more attention to them and,, you know how it goes.  
> English isn't my first language so forgive me all the mistakes!

“Tae, give yourself a break.”

The sound of shoes pattering on the floor didn't stop. Sungwoon didn't really know what he wanted to achieve trying to interfere Taehyun, thinking about it one more time. Taehyun wasn't a dance machine as some would call him – he was pure dance in human shape and knowing him for so long Sungwoon perfectly knew that Kid Monster never once stopped in his life. But this time he didn’t seem to notice one bit from world around him and he was growing old of not being sure if his friend even knew he was here. Night might have been still young but even being used to sleeping the lowest amount of time possible, Sungwoon didn’t want to hear accusations about his raspy voice the next day from his teammates.

He was half lying on the floor, watching Taehyun changing choreography since a good hour ago. Firstly there were _Center of you_ members with him, but they were leaving one by one until he was the only present in the room. His own group was done practising for a day too, maybe besides Hyunbin, but Jisung and Minhyun were the best help he could get for the time being, so to this point Sungwoon was wasting his time without stings of remorse.  


“Yah, Kid Monster. It's night already.”

Taehyun turned on his heels and still moving to the rhythm finally walked towards Sungwoon. He looked tired but happy. How come all dancers always had the strength to smile even when they were visibly exhausted? Simplicity of the obvious answer – they just loved it – made him even more amused.  
“Why are you here, then? I'm busy.”

“To remind you that you should also be sleepy.”

This time they both smiled and Taehyun walked over the room to turn off the music Sungwoon already knew by heart. That situation and dialogue weren’t anything new to them. When they were practising with Hotshot Sungwoon used to monitor Taehyun’s work habits and check if he was sleeping at all. Idol life was draining, they had a chance to experience it first hand, and Taehyun never fully embraced it. He would often get sick due to stress and overstraining himself  and even if he always tried to laugh it off, Sungwoon kept an eye on him. Maybe his everlasting humour precisely was the reason behind his overprotectiveness of the older in comparison to other members – because he worried Taehyun wouldn’t say a word if something serious happened. The rest seemed to manage themselves better. Then, after some time living that routine, Sungwoon started to worry that his friend didn’t only work as much because it was a part of his personality but also self consciously felt like he didn’t suit the role of an idol and tried to compensate for it working twice as hard, especially after Hotshot’s mediocre outcome. He could fix Taehyun’s lack of sleep, but fixing the burden was out of his reach, so he just stayed by his side no matter what.

“I'm still not sure about the choreo though. I told them I can manage, but I could use some help with this, after Kahi-nim basically told me I can go fuck myself with what I've done before” Taehyun said bitterly and surprisingly honestly.

“Why don't _you_ tell them then?” he asked, not even bothering himself saying that it couldn't have been that bad. Taehyun sometimes physically needed to exaggerate and, besides, long hours of being recorded made them all become a lot more offensive than they probably should be when they finally got to be alone. He himself badly overreacted more than few times already, having to apologize after to much more people that he would want under different circumstances.

“They may be good dancers, but they can't choreograph for shit” Taehyun laughed and finally sat besides Sungwoon on the floor. “Why don’t you help me?”

“I’m too biased towards your work” he answered simply and teasingly nudged the older as he tried to hug him as an answer. The real reason was purely the fact that Sungwoon also couldn’t choreograph for shit, but well. That was smooth and cheesy and he liked being both. And it wasn't a lie either - after another bunch of time Sungwoon found himself absentmindedly putting Taehyun before most other things. And people. “Don’t get that close. One of us dripped in your sweat is enough” Taehyun only huffed and leaned against Sungwoon nevertheless. “You can ask Daehwi tomorrow. He’s a golden child and you’re pretty close with him these days. If you're uncertain about anything I bet he will help you. Kid's straightforward for sure.”

“Not a bad idea.”

“It’s mine, isn’t it? Must be the reason of my ranking. The brains.”

“Shithead” Taehyun slapped his arm, but one look at his grinning face was enough to know he wasn’t mad. They weren’t that far away in numbers anyway.  
They became silent for a few moments. Sungwoon finally gave in and threw an arm around Taehyun’s shoulders, while Taehyun closed his eyes and normalized his breath after hours of straining himself. When Sungwoon looked at their reflection in the mirror on the opposite wall, he suddenly felt exhausted too. If he had another chance, he would still choose to audition for a trainee, and Produce 101 contestant following, but at this moment, when he stopped ignoring the surreality of laying on a training room’s ground in a middle of the night, he realised how tired has he and everyone around him been.

“Tae?” he slowly said and when mentioned boy hummed in confirmation that he’s still conscious, he continued into subject he previously ignored. Seeing them both so weary made him reconsider what he had previously thought. “You don’t really think low about your choreo, do you?”

That got Taehyun to open his eyes. “What?” he asked, and Sungwoon wasn’t sure if he was playing the fool or really didn’t understand as he looked half asleep and his eyelids already started to lower again.

Sungwoon went silent for a moment, unsure of how to speak his mind. “I just… wanted to make sure that you know that your work is good. Very good.”

“I'm very very good” Taehyun suddenly started singing chorus of their audition song, but his fingers found and squeezed Sungwoon’s hand. He smiled knowing it was a silent and serious thank you. “Where's that coming from?”

“You seemed down when you told me about Kahi earlier.”

“I'm not” he said but pressure of Sungwoon’s stare made him shift and losen his tongue a bit more. “Sure, I was a little angry and sad, because I… I don't know. I was so sure that I will make this choreography at instant and get praised. To show that I can do much more than krump, that I can be subtle too. But roots are roots” quiet laugh escaped his lips. “And she was right, many parts needed to be changed, but they're cosmetic. She's teaching second year in a row for a reason. I had too much greed.”

“Don't talk to me like I'm a camera” Sungwoon frowned at his last words and before he managed to continue talking he was being pinned to floor by Taehyun’s grasp on his wrists. It was too easy to forget how strong Taehyun was despite his tiny build and height. And how quickly did he restore his energy. “Auch, my head!”

“What do you want to hear, Sungwoon-ah?” Taehyun might have jokingly turn him over, but the look in his eyes was much more serious than previously. He got what he was trying to achieve but started feeling uneasy. Fighting wasn't his goal.

“What do you really think. I'm worried about you and, you know, I can clearly see when you're hiding.”

“Yeah, well” Taehyun said after a moment,when Sungwoon started losing faith. “I'm pissed and sad because we're old here. Samuel is almost a decade younger than me and he did perfect. Daehwi can do anything without fault. Jason's the face they want, standing by him I look like damn grandfather. They are children. But at the same time they aren't, it's their time. Where does it put us if we can't even do half as good?”

“You know it isn't like that.”

“Now you stop screwing, Sungwoonie! You think so too. I can clearly remember what you were talking about when you were doing _Boy in luv._ ” Taehyun hissed, mocking his previous answer.

That shut Sungwoon up. Maybe he wasn't as fair as he thought. His righteous motives didn't let him talk like a motivational youtube video, did they?

Because Taehyun was right. When Sungwoon ended up in self-called new Avengers team, he quickly became a wreck. He was surrounded by only young but popular and skilled trainees. Their abilities, energy and power confirmed and appreciated by numerous headlines at different sites were too much to handle. He could say bye to screentime even his despite desperate tries to do anything screenworthy, despite getting in that mashup because at first he somehow also gained viewers attention. He didn't look old standing by their side nor stayed behind with practise, but being in a team with only gifted kids of the show got him stressed out and shy like never before. “You're right. But what can we do?” Taehyun let go of his wrists but still kneeled over him.

“That's why I wasn't talking in first place” he answered with a hint of irony in his voice.

“Shut up” he bawled. He lost this fight not having quick enough and good enough reply. “Don't you at least feel better now?”

“Not telling” Taehyun said and lowered his body a bit, towering over Sungwoon. For a while they just stayed in that position, looking at each other, both with tired smiles, messy hair and eyes dry from wearing contact lenses for too long. He was suddenly overwhelmed with the need to open his arms and draw Taehyun closer, hug him and fall asleep by his side, boy he knew so well, felt right and calm by his side. Boy older than him, _too old_ for this place, but to him just a vulnerable boy he felt the need to protect. But they were in wrong place, time and lived wrong lives to do that.

“There is a place for us too” he said trying to cover his feelings up. “And if not, fuck it, Hotshot is waiting. We created our place there and it's not going away.” He hoped that Taehyun won't say what he thought too - that yes, it might go away. Almost did. That's what got them into this exact situation. His chest suddenly became heavy.

Thank God, Taehyun also was too tired for this kind of talk and probably saw the change in Sungwoon’s mood because he jumped into jokes again. “Stop swearing in front of your hyung, kid” he said and after getting up, offered his hand to Sungwoon, dragging him up too.

He grinned, brightened up at instant. “Sure, grandpa, sorry, not gonna do it again.“

“I'm gonna knock you out.”

“Try.” Sungwoon said and seeing Taehyun making a step, started running out of practice room they were occupying past hour. Taehyun hurried after him, somehow managing to switch the lights off on his way without stopping. Sungwoon started laughing, running down the stairs, two steps at a time, his shoes hitting the flooring with rumble, and then squealed when Taehyun’s arms suddenly embraced him and he literally lost the ground beneath his feet, Taehyun turning them both around over and over. Then there came another squeal and laughter from down the corridor. Taehyun didn’t put him down though, despite his protests, just turned his steps to see who they almost bumped into. Two _Spring Day's_ members were coming their way from vocal training rooms, shortly bowing.

“Hyungs, good evening, what are you even doing?” always bright Yoo Seonho screamed in their direction to immediate answer from much more tired looking Kenta whose legs barely kept up by chick’s side. “Being the fools they obviously are?”

Sungwoon was almost sure that Taehyun, who was now finally letting him stand but still keeping arms around his waist, rolled his eyes before he snorted with laughter. “Kenta, you look half alive, what did Seonho-ya did to you?”

“Yah, I did nothing, Taehyun-hyung! We just had a lot of work” Seonho hurried with reply as the four of them slowly headed to dorms.

“Yeah, he’s going to play the piano live at our performance and I’m a leader so we have a bit more to do-” Kenta agreed, ending his sentence in half with a big yawn, not even covering his wide opened mouth. “-than the rest of our team. I don’t have the force to move my hands” he explained himself without much care in his voice.

“Wow, you really are wiped out” he commented and soon after yawned himself.

“Look who’s talking” Taehyun and Kenta said in the same moment, the latter barely managing to find energy to laugh. The two of them quickly got into discussion about some random things they probably started talking about sometime before, instant besties since the show began they were, so Sungwoon slowed his pace down and started a lazy chat with a little bit resentful about being left out Seonho whose numerous statements about food made him realise that not only was he tired but also hungry. He was left with hope that someone from his room still had snacks he could snatch before going to sleep.


	2. And now my bedsheets smell like you

He woke up late in the morning to big surprise of firstly feeling well rested and secondly the sight of an almost empty dorm room. Hyunbin also still hasn’t woken up but the rest of their team was nowhere to be seen. 

He needed a few minutes to shake off the remains of sleepiness on his eyelids and understand why wasn't he threw out of bed at least an hour ago by his teammates. They were in the middle of rehearsals so nothing really interesting (as in camera worthy) was supposed to happen. All choreographies, lyrics and concepts were decided, they have already met up with trainers so eventual catfights have also already taken their place and it wasn’t close enough to performances for them to stress out and do stupid shit because of anxiety. Because of this many cameras were going to disappear and give them more room to breathe and so there wasn't a need for their day to be strictly controlled by crew. They would still be recorded all the time, of course, but more  _ just in case _ than with expectations, which lead to less pressure laid on their shoulders at least for a day. 

He slowly got up and with the greatest pleasure locked himself in a bathroom grabbing all the face masks and scented shower gels he had (PD101 was making his diet go to hell, so the least he could do was take care of his face that way) to take a long, hot, morning shower. Staying in much longer wasn't an option, but he decided going to breakfast that late was a run of the mill idea anyway, so he could use up this time doing something more enjoyable. 

Some days water was just a way to make oneself clean and some of them a pure ritual making Sungwoon want to stay under its stream forever. After shampooing his hair for the third time in a row, singing chorus of a few song and going after everything he had to do this day in his mind, he finally got out and toweled himself dry, hearing some commotion from their room. He opened the door, face covered with face mask, to Jaehwan poking still dozing Hyunbin with his foot, Minhyun silently laughing, hand covering his mouth, and Jonghyun looking for something in former’s part of their joint closet, Jisung apparently lost in action someplace else.

“Hyunbin-ah, Sungwoon-hyung is getting younger and younger while you sleep. YGK+ will think he is prettier than you if it continues and you will lose your job” Jaehwan whined with no sign of boredom in his voice, kicking model’s unconscious body just as before. 

“Jaehwan, I didn’t know you were this flexible” Sungwoon said as a greeting, mood brightened by obnoxiously long shower, being genuinely surprised by how high did their main vocal reached with his leg. His whole body was weirdly tilted and it looked like he was going to fall over any moment now, but Sungwoon still felt weird respect towards his abilities. “Hi, Jonghyun-sshi, Minhyun” he bowed towards the two of them. He didn’t like formal speech (most of the time he was plainly forgetting that he was older than  _ too many _ trainees for his liking) but he didn’t know Jonghyun enough to feel comfortable resigning from the suffix. Besides for some reason he, like many other trainees on the show, respected Jonghyun in a way that nagged Sungwoon to call him with regard. Jonghyun and Minhyun both greeted him smiling with engaging charm only they could effortlessly, maybe even mindlessly, pull off in every situation. Sungwoon wondered if they were even real people. 

Hyunbin finally removed the pillow from his face and sheepishly looked around the room.

“Good morning hyungs” he murmured slowly sitting up, smiling wide at the sight of unexpected guest. “Jonghyun-hyung, what are you doing here?” 

“Bringing you two sleepyheads breakfast” Jonghyun answered and Sungwoon got drenched with warmth, murmuring thanks alongst Hyunbin who in that moment looked sort of in love. Yeah, Jonghyun definitely couldn’t be real, Sungwoon decided, as long as angels didn’t have black hair and liked Pokemon. “And looking for my shirt because I think it somehow got into Minhyun’s luggage” he added, Minhyun shrugging by his side.

“Somehow” Jaehwan repeated, yawning. Jonghyun shot him his delicate version of  _ a look _ , not scowling but quite close. Everyone else flushed at that, Sungwoon being kind of surprised and reluctantly remembering that there were cameras with mikes even in their rooms, Hyunbin looking confused for a moment before he realised what did Jaehwan imply and Minhyun quietly laughing again, not caring much. His edited, cold appearance on tv excessively didn’t match real Minhyun, all smiles and shooting kisses.

Sungwoon passed breakfast to Hyunbin, who still looking kinda lost just sat in the same position as before, surrounded by sheets, and went into the bathroom to wash his face before he started eating too, firstly once again bowing towards his feeders. It wasn’t exceptionally good, but food was food. He got used to it.

He soon started chatting about games with Jonghyun (who happily got his shirt back from the bottom of Minhyun’s neat pile of clothes), both of them complaining they still didn’t get their phones back, while the rest talked about less mundane things, as Jaehwan determined. Unexpectedly Hyunbin was the one to hurry them all up to practise, visibly getting stressed out again. They parted ways with Jonghyun, who got a little bit flustered after Hyunbin’s hasten, probably getting the feel he wasn’t fulfilling his own leader functions (and as far as Sungwoon knew Guanlin, Cube chick was probably somewhere in state similar to Hyunbin’s so maybe it wasn’t that unreasonable this time) and a while later found Jisung already looking for them with Joo Jinwoo, another MMO trainee also in vocal position, by his side. 

 

Three of them were experienced singers and one a honey vocal keen to learn even despite his overwhelming personality, so in reality only Hyunbin needed to work a lot. They had such a good chemistry even their harmonizing quickly got more than fine and they were just perfecting it, trying to disconnect themselves from lyrics for the time being so they wouldn’t go around moping because of rehearsals. Sungwoon once again thanked fate for Dongho (there he was praising another Nu’est member) who’ve taken last spot in  _ Playing with fire _ he originally wanted to perform.  _ Downpour  _ was the team of his dreams. Even though they probably weren’t going to outrun  _ Sorry sorry _ team 2, famous amongst viewers for being pure amazing, Sungwoon thought they were a good successors. Especially with half of the so called  _ Justice League _ within them. 

 

The day went on as lazily as he expected until Taehyun crashed their practice with relay camera in hand. He recorded them singing, joking about Mcountdown’s quality and getting a music video which will surely give him lots of money after their debut ( _ “Not that I’m going to sell you, my friends” _ ). He tried to hang out with them after, but little soundproof room was too small for that amount of people, so he finally got Sungwoon to go with him to one of bigger rooms for conjoined practice his team was currently occupying, Jisung waving them off after seeing Sungwoon’s uncertainty to leave early again. 

“Why weren't you at breakfast?” Taehyun asked, closing the door. 

“I was busy sleeping in. Worried?”

“A bit” Taehyun answered to Sungwoon’s pleasant astonishment. He spent so much time worrying about Taehyun it was nice to know he wasn’t the only one after all. “I thought you were getting sick.”

“Why didn't you come check on me, then?” he asked, words slipping before he could stop them, instantly feeling his ears redden. He smirked, trying to turn in into a joke, but realistically speaking he  _ was  _ curious and maybe even uneasy thinking that if he got wind of Taehyun getting ill, he would rush to him. Sungwoon knew that being upset was unreasonable all along but his heart seemingly thought otherwise. Taehyun laughed, amused. 

“I sat with Nu'est today. Jonghyun-ah told me they are going to your room anyway so he will tell me if anything happened. I thought I can trust him” he explained himself, earnest to the point it was supposed to be funny. 

“Why were you with them, though?”

“Daehwi sat there too, as he's teaming with Dongho and Minki, and I wanted to talk to him about, you know, what you proposed. “

Sungwoon hummed. “How did it go?”

“You were right- stop yourself don't even try to say you obviously were- and he helped me out. Another reason I couldn't go check on you, I was busy.”

Sungwoon couldn't pretend it didn't make him feel nice. He laughed. “You don't have to explain yourself that much. I'm glad you care.”

Taehyun elbowed him. “Watch your mouth. I may never try to be sentimental about you again.” he warned, and Sungwoon laughed once more, feeling warm inside, opening the door before Taehyun. 

“I’m so sorry” he rolled his eyes, grinning. “Get in, hyung.”

 

It wasn’t long until they had to wrap up to dorms, dancers wanting to shower before lunch, and then the day went on, quicker than its first half. This time Sungwoon got the job of teaching Hyunbin (he swore the kid transformed into one of hardest working trainees here since his first days in F class), trying to help him as much as he could, fishing for every and each one of tips he heard before debut, trying to find one that would suit the model best and bring out the good quality out of his voice. Hyunbin wasn’t one bit of a singer but watching and, what’s more important, being part of his constipation and want and effort made Sungwon believe that it’s possible to happen, even though at first he was doubtful and dim about the idea. Jaehwan stayed with them, strumming on his guitar, once more showing that he had bigger heart than his laziness and stupid jokes might suggest, and when Hyunbin finally got rid of shakiness of his voice and they all chanted with joy, delight really embraced Sungwoon, making him feel closer to these boys than ever. It was evening before they noticed.

 

Jaehwan parted with them to find Sewoon, so he stepped into their room only alongside Hyunbin. Minhyun was missing in action this time and Jisung lightly snoring on his bed. Sungwoon bribed the model to let him into the bathroom first, not intending to take long. He was done after a quarter and saw Hyunbin leaning on the bunk ladder, talking to someone sitting on Sungwoon’s bed. He frowned before he noticed who was the unexpected guest, Hyunbin quickly bidding goodbye as he saw him leave the bathroom. 

“Hey, move” he said to Taehyun who shifted on the bed, making room for Sungwoon. He laid down on bedsheets and put his ankles on Taehyun’s thighs, folding his pillow so his head would be higher and he had better sight of his friend. “What’s up?”

Taehyun reached out to him with something in hand. It’s was Sungwoon’s phone. “We got ‘em back, enjoy. I told the staff I can bring you yours” he explained.

“Thanks” he said and turned it on to check messages and notifications, then slipping few comments about some of them. “You’re staring” he said after a while, both feeling and seeing Taehyun’s sight from the corner of his eye. It didn’t bother him. He was just teasing.

“I’m not.”

“You are.”

“You look pretty without makeup. I’m just wondering how it’s like.”

Sungwoon lowered his phone, biting back a smile. Another peculiar words coming from Taehyun’s mouth. They weren’t  _ that  _ weird, as Taehyun often pointed out Sungwoon’s visuals, not hiding what he thought and treating it more as a fact than anything else. He did it especially when he wanted to get something but it felt good nevertheless. This time it was pretty random, though, and Sungwoon didn’t know better than to joke, not trusting himself with a serious response. “What do you want this time, smooth-talker?” 

“Nothing. I’m just tired and hope you will put me to peaceful sleep today too. And you really are.”

“I’m what?” he asked mindlessly, in meantime wondering if he rightly sensed a hidden complement in Taehyun’s words. So he really did help Taehyun relax the evening before.

“Pretty.”

That caught him off guard. He hoped his face didn’t turn red. “Taehyun!” He laughed.

“Keep it down, kid, Jisung-hyung is sleeping. Seriously, I’m jealous, I kind of forgot how it’s like to room with you.”

He rolled his eyes, smiling openly this time. He put his cellphone down, its dim light putting an idea where from could Taehyun be coming from in his mind. “Have you read comments again?” He asked slowly, carefully, watching Taehyun change his expression into an embarrassed one. Sungwoon hit the jackpot and wasn’t glad. He groaned. “Tae! We agreed not to do that. We agreed that guys will read opinions and tell us what they think is important.” 

Taehyun clenched his jaw. “It was mechanical. I got my phone, I went online, read how filthy I am, then remembered why I wasn’t supposed to go on forums.” 

Sungwoon sighed and poked Taehyun thigh with his feet, not knowing what to say anymore. They went over that subject so many times anything he could tell his friend seemed shallow to him. That was exactly why the rest of Hotshot took the job of screening comments upon themselves. Many viewers were plainly cruel and superficial. They didn’t need another reason to worry so decision on not reading comments by themselves was the best one. And then there Taehyun was again, thoughtlessly tapping out some rhythm on Sungwoon’s ankle, looking pitiful and not wanting pity at the same time, confirming it had worked well.  _ Had. _

He couldn’t tell him it didn’t matter what comments said. It did. It were viewers who wrote them, and it were viewers who decided about their fate in the show. Of course what they thought did matter and it was the worse thing out of all that Taehyun wasn’t unaware.

“They haven’t seen the best of you yet” he stood on saying. He wondered if Jisung was asleep so early because of the reviews about his looks too, as he was also getting much hate on the matter. “You should put your hair down on the next stage, but more messy than last time.” He added, eyes fixed on Taehyun’s profile, deciding something practical will work better than dry words. Taehyun looked ready to bed, wearing a hoodie and sweats, his hair messy, face clean from makeup, brows a little furrowed. Cute overall. Second time in as many days Sungwoon wanted to grasp him and hug him and stay like that all night. “Gives you a softer look.” He said. “And don’t get bold makeup trying to hide your features. Go with something light, fresh. Captivating” he added. Taehyun pulled face at his last word but didn’t say a thing. “It will work with the concept. They’ll change their minds, you will see.” 

He was serious and seeing Taehyun relax he smiled, knowing that his decision to say _ yeah, it may be like that, but you can physically do something about it _ instead of denying truth was a right one.

“You think?” Taehyun asked.

He hummed in response. If they could see him as Sungwoon did, anyone would fall in love with him. As Sungwoon did.

Shit, his heart ached. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm feeling better and better writing in english even though it took me a while to post (I was just busy with life whoa). I think the next chapter will be the last (I don't want to go through all PD101, my target was Position Evaluation timeline) but I'm not sure yet.  
> Taehyun really does say Sungwoon is pretty often. Trust me, I wasted bunch of time on watching them (zero regrets).  
> Thank you for kudos and comments, even the few of them made me feel sOO GOOD! <3


	3. I may be crazy, don't mind me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuehua baby finally appears. Tags didn’t lie.
> 
> (and oops thanks to Iamapotato's comment I realised I typed his name wrong ALL THE WAY UP what even am I it was the one english name)

“I'm starting to slightly hate this song” Justin murmured, hanging on Taehyun’s neck. It couldn’t be comfortable for either of them and from the viewer’s side was generally funny because of their noticeable height difference. They really looked like they were related, but more like father and overgrown son or brothers with wider age gap, Sungwoon thought, remembering Taehyun’s words from a few days back when he was talking about being Justin’s grandfather. For him it was more about their behaviour than looks though, chinese boy clinging to his hyung all the time. He visibly looked up to Taehyun, always reaching for his approval, compliments or, contrariwise, negative remarks, for his guidance, laughter to jokes he told; his attention in general. Sungwoon knew the liking was mutual, Taehyun smoothly finding himself in this fatherly figure he was put in out of the blue.  He could see it in the way Tae lustered younger boy’s actions, amount of tips he was giving him  and how he toned his normally harsh teacher voice while correcting his mistakes. And the fact that he never said no to his hugs or, moreso, often reached his own arms out for Justin - it spoke for itself.

“I’m the leader here and I’m telling you that you love the song. I love the song. We all love it so much it will be the best stage anyone has ever seen” Taehyun said, poking Justin’s side with his fingers every few words he said. He sounded a little bored too, though, and it wasn’t hard to guess that he was also growing tired. Sungwoon assumed that for him it came less from hearing the same melody nonstop for a week and more the fact that he had to teach others, as being a leader was pretty drowning (there was a reason Sungwoon didn’t want to do it again after leading A class and then his team in group evaluation), especially if in attendance were people lacking in skills for whose mistakes someone had to take the responsibility. Looped sounds in themselves didn’t Sungwoon much as in the past they were spending much more time listening, singing and dancing to Hotshot’s songs and he doubted Taehyun was any different. 

“Yeah, I  _ so  _ love this song” Justin groaned, pushing back Taehyun’s hands but not moving one centimeter away from him. His korean was a little stiff, but when he was surrounded by friendly figures he communicated without much struggle. On air he didn’t speak much, but Sungwoon now wondered how often did Justin even get a hold of microphone to have a chance to talk. “Sungwoon-hyung, aren’t you tired of  _ Downpour _ ?”

He grinned. “I’m used to it.”   
Justin looked confused for a moment before realisation hit him and he looked between Sungwoon and Taehyun with laughter on his lips. “I always forget you two are in a band.”

“How could you forget about such great and international band as Hotshot, kid” Taehyun teased, ruffling Justin’s hair, once again with that fatherly element present which only got stronger when he noticed not understanding look at the boy’s face and started to explain what did  _ international  _ mean. 

Sungwoon smiled again and took a sip of coffee he snatched from buffet before coming to dance practise room. His own team had a break now he decided to spend with others who were still working instead of lazing his ass off in the cafeteria. Sungwoon liked pretty much all  _ Shape of You _ members and even though his first pick was singing, he liked to dance too and their final choreography was so good he mindlessly learned its few parts and now enjoyed mimicking Taehyun behind his back to cheerful laughter of his teammates. Hanging out in their room was for him more relaxing than sitting in one place and eating snacks out of boredom, a serious crime against skincare he was trying to maintain, looking for new people to chat with every five minutes. Here he was kept entertained all the time even if he ended up being more tired than before the break. His time with the trainees was limited so he wanted to fully use it up, fatigue aside.

“Hey, Donghan, try it with just feet first- well, legs in general, then focus on upper body. Left more to the inside, like-” Taehyun suddenly turned his attention towards practising members, raise in his voice making both Sungwoon and Justin budge. His brows furrowed when he watched boy’s movements. “Yeah, go on- no, it needs to be more rapid-”

“I’m getting lost here, leader-nim” Donghan groaned after another moment, bait obvious in the form of a suffix. “Come show me?” 

Taehyun rolled his eyes. He couldn’t say no, it might’ve sounded like a request, but leader’s job was what it was. “Sure thing. Sungwoon, pass me one more sip?” He asked pointing at the coffee cup, weary smile on his face.

“You drank half of it already. Go get yours.” Sungwoon complained teasingly with a soft chuckle.

Taehyun’s reply came sharp. “You know, I have an actual work here to do and a little time to run around with errands.” 

“Whoa, it was just a joke. I have work too.” He said, surprised, still keeping his smile on.

“Yeah, I see.” Taehyun said, looking up to the ceiling and starting to walk away. 

Sungwoon offered him the cup, barely stopping himself from wincing. “Drink.”   
“No, thanks, you need the caffeine more to not fall asleep, I will be too busy to do so anyways.”

Donghan shot him a weird look from across the room and Justin glanced at him with the same incomprehension as before. Sungwoon bit his lip and murmured that  _ he better get going then, if everyone is busy, ha ha _ . Donghan peeked over his shoulder mouthing  _ sorry _ in his direction while Justin smiled shyly and nodded him off before following his leader to the other half of the room. Sungwoon shook his head, thinking that he should be the one apologising as his missed joke visibly brought the atmosphere down, but how could he predict Taehyun’s bad reaction? He was just bickering. He wasn’t serious, they were only laughing and having fun in the previous minute. It was just coffee, a trifle, Jesus, he could get another one, he could get  _ five _ , when did he even recently refused Taehyun anything so he could think it  _ wasn’t  _ a joke? Sungwoon closed the glass door after himself and looked through it towards dancing duo, Donghan trying to keep up and barely managing to. Maybe he was the one having fun, he corrected himself after a moment, maybe Taehyun was more tired than he thought. But him getting this moody was a weird thing anyway. Even though Taehyun was rarely careful of words, he didn’t use to be plain harsh.

Or did he? Maybe just not while addressing Sungwoon?

He scratched the back of his neck trying to compel himself to walk away from the glass wall so he won’t get catched glaring. He sighed. It was hardly a fight they just went through but Sungwoon felt as bad as he would if he had just participated in a yelling contest. He didn’t like to quarrel with anyone, especially Taehyun, especially about such stupid things. He shouldn’t have said anything, why did he? He should notice that Tae wasn’t in the mood for banter. And he really had lots of work. Surely more than Sungwoon. Maybe he shouldn’t even come and intrude, staying with his own team a better idea from the start. That was it of being entertained using up others’ time. But it wasn’t his fault that he didn’t have as much to do, was it? His team didn’t have any choreography and singing too much was plain unwise as it could gift them sore throat. He wasn’t really bumming. 

He slowly walked off and threw out lukewarm remains of his coffee as soon as he spotted first trash bin, losing any greed for finishing it off. 

Why was he caring so much? Taehyun would probably forget about it all in an hour or less. He should wave it aside too. It was stupid. He was stupid. 

“Sungwoon-hyung, hello!” A sound of a happy shout shook him out of his sulking. Yoo Seonho was coming his way, enthusiastic as always. “Yah, did something happen, hyung? You look sad. Why are you?” 

It squeezed a smile out of him. “No, I’m fine. Hi, Seonho-ya.”

“Really?” Seonho had already reached him and put an arm around his shoulders, towering over him with his one hundred eighty-odd centimeters of height, guiding them both somewhere into the building. He was another young and tall one after Justin and Donghan, and Sungwoon wondered where they were all coming from. “You can tell me.” He looked sort of like a dog desperately trying to show his interest, only a tail missing. It reminded him of Seonho’s relations with Minhyun which reminded him of Justin and Taehyun just minutes earlier. If Taehyun was  _ that  _ tired how did he have the energy to fool around with the boy? 

“It’s really nothing.” It was. It was silly.

“Ah, if you say so” Seonho said, looking a bit disappointed. It didn’t stop him from waiting barely a second before changing the subject. “Kenta-hyung was looking for you earlier. Are you free now?”

Sungwoon nodded, letting Seonho guide him. He tried to focus on his happy babbling but found it hard, his thoughts drifting away all the time. Maybe he should just tell the boy what happened, emphasizing that it was irrelevant really, his mood dropping just for a while because of sudden and small breakout in his and Taehyun’s harmony. When he thought about it he realised that they didn’t really argue about anything since the show started, as their intense talk a few days back wasn’t really a fight, more of a moment of disagreement. Maybe that’s why he was so uneasy; they were both each other’s anchors for a bunch of time now and then suddenly clashed.

But he didn’t want to talk about it. Just the thought made him feel like he was betraying Taehyun, as Taehyun was still being safe haven for him,  _ the  _ safe haven, the person he trusted and knew best and who he told about his insecurities and troubles while the show lasted. They both opened up to others, sure, even made good friends already, but saying bad words on Taehyun would make him feel like their silent trust agreement ended and he didn’t want it to. Maybe escaping into metaphors was stupid and Sungwoon was making it all something bigger than it was but he wasn’t going to open his mouth. 

“-don’t you think?”

He catched Seonho’s question just in time to risk an answer. “Y-yeah, sure.”

“I think I’m too young though.” Seonho said with a sigh, making Sungwoon assume that he risked well. He was actually curious what the chick was talking about but it was too late to ask now anyways. 

 

Sungwoon walked in the cafeteria for their last meal of the day with sincere intention of sitting at his usual table but one look at Taehyun’s back made him chicken out and take a seat with the first friendly looking bunch. He wasn’t even feeling as bad as few hours ago - he just got hesitant for a moment which made him jump into a sudden decision. He slipped in the seat by Jaehwan’s side and looked around everyone’s amused expressions getting quickly included by wickedly smiling Minki.

“Hello Sungwoon-sshi, you’re just in time to take part in our poll!” 

“Choi Minki!” Dongho and Daehwi immediately yelled, same words in the same moment, former with a huff, latter red on the face, both laughing nevertheless. Jaehwan and Hyunbin were almost crying from laughter, poking each others’ sides, Jonghyun and Minhyun controlling themselves better but smirking too. He somehow ended up with majority of his team which was only good. He could accompany them, he could have had  _ reasons _ , it wasn’t anything weird for him to sit there.

“You see” Minki continued, resting his chin on his fist, voice as serious as he was just about to tell him confidential info. “I’m trying to settle down a statistic here. Were you scared of Dongho at some point of the competition?” 

Sungwoon had suddenly understood the reason of Daehwi’s blush as his own cheeks fired up too to Jaehwan’s instant wild laughter. “Of course he was, he was in Boy in luv too! Look at his face!” 

“Yah, he was by my side!” Daehwi groaned covering his face with his hands and glancing at Sungwoon through fingers. 

“Look at their faces, I’m going to piss myself” Jaehwan at that point was almost trembling and Sungwoon started laughing too, even despite his never stopping embarrassment.

“What is this statistic anyway?” He asked.

“What percent of trainees did Dongho scare, of course” Minki responded with sass as if the idea was as obvious as the sun. Dongho started cackling into his palm, a little pink on the cheeks too. “So were you afraid?”

“I don’t know if  _ scared  _ is the word” He started off diplomatic, trying to keep his face as he was the oldest one by this table,  _ dammit _ . “But, as Jaehwan said…” The rest of his words was drowned out by overall cackles and gabbling. He quickly joined them, feeling so warm and in place that he forgot he sat there only by accident. 

“You know, about Sungwoon though.” Jonghyun interfered, warm voice, kind smile. “I think the scare was mutual.”   
Sungwoon’s jaw dropped and Dongho’s eyes widened. Minki didn’t stop laughing, no sign of shame on his face at all. The rest of the table moved their sights onto him with interest, waiting for an explanation. “Well, you and Taehyun fucked us all up with your audition, how could I lie. Our white tiger got pretty intimidated too.”

“In a good way, though!” Dongho hurried with follow-up, scratching the back of his reddened neck. 

“Then we have ninety seven trainees afraid of Dongho and two that scared caveman Dongho himself- don’t look at me like that, I wasn’t the one to come up with that nickname.” Minki huffed.

Hyunbin frowned, intruding their eyecontact battle. “Ninety seven?”

“One hundred one minus us” Minki explained, circling his finger around Nu’est members. “He isn’t  _ that  _ butch after time. He’s a cutie. Sexy bandit happened by accident.” He said, earning another death glare from Dongho who opened his mouth with foreseeable savage intentions, only to be cut off by Jonghyun before he could bite back. 

“Yeah, Minki is the one here to be scared of” He laughed, Minki visibly proud of himself. “Let’s eat now.”

 

They were already coming out of the cafeteria, everyone’s faces tired of constant laughter, when Sungwoon heard quick, close steps and felt felt someone’s fingers on his shoulder. He didn’t need to look to know who enveloped his figure, he knew this warmth and shape too well; it didn’t stop him from jumping at the unexpected touch. 

“Agh, Tae, you scared me.” He said, pressing a hand to his chest. 

Taehyun let out a quick, breathy laugh and the sound made Sungwoon’s insides change their positions. “Surprise.” He said and slowed his pace down a bit making them lag a few steps behind the rest of a little group emerging the canteen. “What were you all talking about? I thought Jaehwan will stop breathing.”

Sungwoon smiled, trying to stop feeling so stupidly uncomfortable and unsure. “Sadly, he didn’t. Minki was… mocking everyone, basically.”

“Sadly? Shouldn’t you care more about your main vocal?”   
“If he was out of sorts I could’ve taken his place, you never know.”

“Whoa, where’s your big heart, kid? Jungle law got you?” 

Sungwoon relaxed. He was right about Taehyun quickly forgetting about their clash.  “Look at who am I teaming with. I’m too fucked to be selfless.”

 

They chatted all the way up to their dorms, Taehyun loosening his grip on Sungwoon’s shoulders only when they stood in the corridor having to part into separate rooms. Previously he moved his hand a bit to stroke the scrap of Sungwoon’s bare skin showing from under his collar, though, looking like he was gathering to do something. Sungwoon was sure it got him to flush, but Taehyun didn’t seem to notice - or care.

“Hey, um, sorry for lashing out on you earlier.” He said, straightforward.

Sungwoon laughed, immediately cursing himself and his reflexes. Being serious once in a while would be nice but his body had different thoughts on the matter. “It was nothing.” He said. It’s not like he spent an hour sulking. He settled with himself that it was stupid and unnecessary so it was almost like it didn’t happen at all.

“I just sat with Kenta and Seonho, you know.”

Sungwoon fell silent. “Oh.” 

Taehyun raised his eyebrows. “Seonho babbled out you were in a shitty mood when he met you around our room.”

“What did he ever not babble out.” He shook his head.  _ That kid _ . He couldn’t really get mad at him, but he could always try. “I don’t know what got me.” 

“I guess I got you.” Taehyun said, then winced. “It sounded weird. Nevermind. You know what I mean.”

Sungwoon chuckled. “Shit happens. You were tired.” 

Taehyun tilted his head and frowned. “No, Sungwoonie, it’s not a reason. Don’t make excuses for me. I’m trying to admit a mistake here, why can’t you, I don’t know, yell on me or something.”

Sungwoon looked down, not knowing what to say. How was he supposed to put the blame on Taehyun when he couldn’t see anything wrong about him? He now wanted to laugh at himself that even when Taehyun was trying to make him feel better, the only thing he could think about was taking care of Taehyun and bringing his smile back instead of accepting his apologies. It was almost wicked but all natural to him. 

Singular trainees were passing by them to their rooms, sometimes passing them a look, Jaehwan’s laugh audible from the one they were standing by. Their somewhat serious exchange wasn’t very climatic; privacy was a luxury they could forget about in this place. Sungwoon made himself focus on the real matter of their conversation, which was quickly brought back in words by Taehyun.

“So, I’m sorry.”

Sungwoon subconsciously bit his curling upwards lip. “Yeah, you should be but I find it in me to forgive you.”

Taehyun sighed, his expression softening. “We have enough worries here. I don’t want you to be down because of me too. You’re always…” He cut himself out. 

“What?” Sungwoon nagged, feeling slightly nauseous from curiosity. 

“I just should’ve thought twice.” He said, stumbling upon his words and wandering off with his eyes. He didn’t give out the real ending to his previous sentence, but his soft, a little worried expression was more than enough. “Anyways, I need to go and hammer down the shower, I want to go ahead of time and already sleep off tomorrow’s sleepless night. Goodnight, Sungwoon-ya.” 

“Night, Tae.“ 

He turned around, hiding his warm grin, and opened the door to his dorm room seeing just the chaos he expected. It wasn't all that bad. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was supposed to be the last chapter but well, they say life likes to shock sometimes.  
> I hope that dialogs in this chapter weren’t very bad! In my language we write them a bit differently so as they were more intense/quicker here than in previous ones it was a little hard for me.  
> Also,, I guess you can tell how much do I adore Nu'est by now.
> 
> Thank you for reading, leaving kudos and comments! It all makes me feel so good! <3
> 
>  
> 
> //And finally I'm leaving it as the last chapter. Moving out really messed with me and I'm not feeling up to writing more of this fic so please forgive me.
> 
> ILY ALL! <3

**Author's Note:**

> Yaah, than you for reading!! I want to get into wiriting again and primarily improve my english so I would appreciate any comments! <3 I'm so nervous now haha.  
> I don't know where am I going with this though. We'll see.


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